Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
