i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
