I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
is it fun? or sober?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
