I hate your face
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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