My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
