somebody snuck up and got me drunk
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
They are going to name an STD after you.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
