We won't sleep together?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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