dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize