I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
