he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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