There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
