I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
