i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
