That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
