My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Randomize
