So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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