this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Randomize
