you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
They took my balls.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
