What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
