I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
