ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
