well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
