We won't sleep together?
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Dignity is for republicans.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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