so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Randomize
