She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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