you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
