I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
