You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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