About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize