I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
