I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Randomize
