It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I have post one night stand depression
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