Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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