I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
