I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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