You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
