I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
