ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
