WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
