I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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