Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
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