Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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