i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
