WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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