this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
