I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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