I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
