i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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