i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
be right there i have to get my cape
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
