Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
