i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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