it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
