she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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