I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
