Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
