I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
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