Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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