so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Even my vagina gasped.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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