Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
