Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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