Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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